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About Varied / Hobbyist Member DexterUnited States Group :iconmy-oc-life: My-OC-Life
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Deviant for 2 Years
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Statistics 358 Deviations 5,953 Comments 9,293 Pageviews

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DexterAnodyne has started a donation pool!
153 / 9,001
1 like on Facebook- A drawing sent straight to your P.O. box (or sent via Email)

3 :points:- 5 favorites, a llama (If I haven't already given a llama)

10 :points:- watch, one art featured, llama, 10 favorites

25 :points:- watch, 2 art features, llama, 12 favorites

35 :points:- watch, 4 art features, llama, 15 favorites

55 :points:- watch, 6 art features for a year, 1 Art feature on my page, llama, 20 favorites

100 :points:- watch, 10 art features, 3 art features on my page, featured on my Facebook page, llama, 20 favorites

upper body: 5 pts
full body: 6 pts
additional characters: + 5 each
Complex background/ poses: + 2
Costom made adoptables: +1
ref sheets: 4 pts
Pre-made book markers: $2/25 dA points
Costom-made book markers: $4/40 dA points
additional ribbon: $1/5 dA points

If you donated for whatever other reason,THANKS SO MUCH!!!!

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DexterAnodyne's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
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Thank you very much!!!

No thanks for llama badge by Feidhelm

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My inspirations:


I've been bullied at school a lot, but it's stopped since I've made a lot of friends. I need my friends to help me control bullies, so I try to talk to them and hang out with them as much as I can. But then there's my boyfriend who is homeschooled, and he only has two friends and I hate them. They're a bad influence on him, they put him in bad situations, and they just get in the way of our time together.
We both always argue about each other's friends and when I wanted him to choose me over his friend, he almost broke up with me and said I was being annoying. I know its not fair for me to have friends and to force him to only have me, but i have a low self esteem and I'm easily depressed and when he chooses other things over me, I freak out. This is the longest relationship I've been in and I'm just expecting him to give up on me like everybody else did. Im a debby downer and I'm always pissed off or something unless we're together so I can see why he'd fall out of love with me. I have a bad home life, I'm bullied at school, plus I have that anxiety and depression stuff so there's a lot going on that just gives me a bad personality.
I want to show him I love and appreciate him but I don't know how to. I tell him I love him so much and I always try to be sweet to him but after a while, words don't mean anything anymore. And he's the same way with me. Both of us have only dated cheaters and liars so words are just words now. I can't give him gifts, he already had everything he wants, and I don't have money. I want to love I'm by giving him the space and freedom he wants but that just makes me feel worse cause I feel unloved and we'll end up fighting Over everything he does.
I've tried telling Him my feelings but he thinks I'm trying to make him feel bad for me and stuff. I've told him about my anxiety and depression and my low self esteem. I told him that I always wonder why he likes me and it hurts his feelings that I say stuff like that. It doesn't work anymore and he said that all of my negativity pushes him away, and I know it does, but that's really how I feel. I don't know what to do anymore and neither does he.
I have a lot of problems.
Anxiety, depression, a broken home, no friends, Im pretty much a loner.
The only person I really talk to is my boyfriend and sometimes I have these moments where my anxiety and depression get the best of me and I get all worked up for all kinds of tiny reasons and it happens a lot. My boyfriend gets annoyed about it.
I already know I'm being ridiculous, I can't help it, all I've asked for was for him to tell me he loves me and tell me I'm special and all those nice things but he just makes me feel worse. He doesn't get it. He doesn't know how it feels. I know I'm being impossible but I would feel much better if he would just get it in his head that the cure is to show me he loves me. But he doesnt understand and he keeps fighting me over all this stuff. We both feel unloved and I dont know what to do. I love him so much, I'm not going to break up with him but I know he's getting sick of my shit and I am too. But Ive told him what I need in order to feel better and I don't know, maybe he's just given up trying to be sweet anymore. 
There's no way for me to get therapy, the dcfs agent told my mom to get me some and she still hasn't. I have nobody to talk to except my boyfriend. I have no medication. and I have been a bully victim and its given me a ton of emotional baggage. The school hasn't helped either. I don't know what to do. I made some forum threads before about my domestic abuse situation. That's still going on but this is what's important to me. My boyfriend is my world. I need advice on how to go about fixing this.
Making more friends isn't much of an option. I live in a small town with not a lot of people and I'd rather not confront my anxiety. I've tried making friends, and that stuff just doesn't work in a place like this.
So I made a forum thread a while back talking about my emotionally abusive mother.
Everyone told me to tell the authority.. Her and I have had fights since then, and she's started putting her hands on me, so I finally talked to an adult from school about it.
I went there in search for guidance on getting emancipated, and yet all they did was call DCFS. I know they were just trying to help, but it has really complicated everything, and my mom is being very cruel to me now because she knows what I have done.
My mom was able to lie her way out of my case, and the DCFS social worker thinks that I have lied to her about everything. I lost.

But now I have something that's even more important to me that's gone wrong.
My mom forced my boyfriend to be involved. She has threatened our relationship and has threatened to put him in jail for rape (he's 18 and I'm 16) and it's put a lot of stress on both of us.
I've come to realize that I am overly dependent on him. I feel like he doesn't care about me anymore, which he obviously does since he's putting himself at risk of getting arrested to be with me. He's even said he's sick of me telling him I don't feel loved. In person, everything's alright, but when we're talking online, we just argue and I feel like shit, and he gets angry at me, and it's all just a mess. He won't be sweet to me anymore, and he just talks about how this whole thing is a burden on him and that he doesn't want to go to jail. He says he also doesn't feel loved by me. I really do love him, I wish he'd show me he loves me back a little more often. I just feel like a burden and that nobody's on my side. And me being too attached to him is a real problem, a real thing, but he thinks I'm just being stupid. I know I need to fix myself, cause I know my social problems, My depression, and this over dependence is a real problem. I don't know how to overcome them, because when I try to suck it up, I only feel worse. He says he doesn't know what to do.. And neither do I.

I love you.

                                                                                                                                                :icondexteranodyne:                                                                                                                                                 :iconwiggleplz:

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Add a Comment:
Nyseh Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
u gave me my first Llama :D 
(1 Reply)
NekoLeoCruz Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2014
hahahaha  epic webcam XD
(1 Reply)
faithnomorefan Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the llama :)
(1 Reply)
ayumux Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  Student General Artist
Thanks so much for the watch :iconbrohugplz:
(1 Reply)
GalaxyKitty Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
!!!!!!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
(1 Reply)
GalaxyKitty Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey! I see you like My Chemical Romance, All American Rejects and Left for Dead...

You ma'am are awesome x3
(1 Reply)
vivirine Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thank you for the llama Neko Emoji-16 (Blush) [V1] 
(1 Reply)
Dreamworld88 Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014  Student Writer
Hey, your thread about your speech got closed before I got a chance to comment. 
You should probably start with some kind of hook, an attention grabber.  "Amazingly, 60% of adults show mild signs of psynchrophobia regularly. Psynchrophobia is the fear of being cold." While informative, not the greatest way to gather your audience's attention. 
I can't offer any advice on how to write the rest of the speech, I'm not the greatest at writing them myself. However, I thought what little I do know could help you.
(1 Reply)
Mesiiya Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thank you for the Llama~~^^Heart 
(1 Reply)
polka-dot-neon-socks Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
(1 Reply)
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